Musings on BaltiCon 60, Part Three…

I’ve made a decision. I’m going to self-publish Arrested Souls: Book One of the Ecto-Files, the first novel I’ve written in a series I intend to pursue. I have over half of the second novel, Soul Eaters, drafted, and ideas for book three, Soul Rain, on the back burner. 

After attending all these panels at BaltiCon 60 and learning about the ins and outs of independent and self-publishing, and not being willing to pursue traditional publishing tirelessly, I realized that I simply want to be published. 

I honestly think I have a good story to tell, and that I’ve told it well, and that there is an audience waiting for me out there. 

Do major publishing houses and big-league agents want to take a risk on me? If the tables were turned, I think, as a publisher or an agent, I’d wait to see how marketable I, as Paul Emilio, am, as well as my Ectoverse. 

I’ve worn the t-shirt for most of the con, have received compliments and questions, and passed out my business cards to every panelist I’ve seen, every con-goer who liked my shirt, and every empty spot on every table throughout the convention hall space. 

I’ve even given Arrested Souls elevator pitches to two publishers, who were really impressed with the story—I could tell by their reactions and body language that they were sincere—but told me that they could not take me on at the moment. I gave my card to both of them. 

Perhaps this realization came to me after I attended a kaffeeklatsch with the literary agent I unofficially queried last year. The one who gave me feedback on my first few pages, but, according to my friends, he did not outright “reject” me. According to him, my work was “good” but not “great.” With his list of authors he represents, some of them truly big leaguers, it makes sense why he is so picky. 

But I will not stop. I will persevere. 

I do not see this decision as capitulation; I do not see it as defeat; I do not see it as backing down in any way. This is not representative of any shortfall or deficit in my skills, my voice, or my persistence. Am I being impatient? Maybe so. I’m just eager to get my authorship off the ground. 

I’m not looking for the big bucks. I’m not looking for fame. As I may have said, my writing will become my retirement activity—not that I’m going to retire from teaching in the next ten or so years, anyway. 

And I’ll have to invest a lot into this endeavor. I’ll have to find a graphic artist who will create my book cover. I’ll have to distribute ARCs, or Advanced Reader Copies, so that reviews will already be there on publication day. I’ll have to consider book tour companies. I’ll have to do much, much work for this to be somewhere close to worthwhile. But I’m willing. And I’m ready.