My Thoughts on the Film, The Room…

Utterly horrible films promise one thing: even in their trashy badness, they’re bound to entertain you. The old So-Bad-It’s-Good category of movies. It’s all about expectations, after all.

Then there’s The Room by Tommy Wiseau.

I started watching this…film…with the right expectations, as mentioned above. But as I was watching it, I was unfortunately eating my dinner: sirloin steak with fingerling potatoes and asparagus.

I couldn’t finish my dinner, and I don’t like to waste food.

First of all, Tommy Wiseau has a dopey grin and even dopier scowl, and he switches between the two often—he seems to have no other facial expressions whatsoever. Secondly, he sounds like Arnold Schwarzenegger before bodybuilding. And before acting lessons. And before his testicles dropped.

Thirdly, and most importantly, he can’t write a screenplay to save his life. He writes as if he were a middle schooler in their first filmmaking class, whose teacher’s only experience was in soft porn. The numerous sex scenes in this movie attest to this.

A man’s fiancée is no longer enamored with him, so she cheats on him. And is unapologetic about it. Othello should have definitely killed her first. I would have. Said loveless woman is played by Juliette Danielle. She might have been a good actress, but the script diminished any talents she might have had.

The plot is Shakespearean in design, but Neil Breen in delivery. Ed Wood could have won an Oscar if he had taken hold of this screenplay. The CGI that Uwe Boll would provide would elevate this film.

As far as the So-Bad-It’s-Good film category goes? Not this one. No. I want my hour and forty minutes back. I highly do not recommend this film.